What the Bible says — and doesn’t say — about marriage

There’s a lot of talk about the biblical definition of marriage and the family; however, I can’t find where those terms are explained anywhere in the bible.

Nonetheless, a careful reading of the Good Book provides some basic guidelines that clearly warrant some discussion.

In both Genesis I and II we see a unique parenting by the Ultimate Unwed Single Parent: God. In this model there is no marriage, and apparently no sex either, as God performs like a sponge, an entity capable of sexual and asexual reproduction.

In Genesis, God is the perfect model for a petulant asexual parent arrogant enough to think children don’t need two parents. In this model we have a celibate male cloning children in any image he prefers, setting them up for failure and callously blaming them when they screw up. We can see in God’s actions many universal parental statements such as “you didn’t get THAT trait from ME… it must have come from your Uncle Beelzebub…”

Genesis also provides a family model, although not one I’d recommend since it begins with an excess of incest and a dose of fratricide – and your local state’s attorney won’t be too keen about either (just as a heads up, OK?).

Erring on the side of charity, however, which by the way is also biblical in case you forgot, we should forgive Adam and Eve and their progeny for complicating our lives since they were obviously abandoned by an asexual emotionally distant single parent who failed at home schooling and had the bad judgment to try to control their behavior by tempting them with a talking snake and a piece of fruit: definitely not the best way to shape the morality of children in their most tender years.

Source : LGBTQnation : Read the full article here.